I can understand what you are feeling. I just placed my first foster with his new home around Thanksgiving. I now have me second one and it looks like she will be going to a new home soon after she is spayed. I have been told it never gets any eaiser, and sometimes a littler harder to let them go. But I know that because of their stay with me tI have found them a perfect home and that might not have happen if it were not for me. I hope the keep you updated. I beleive a dog never forgets those who have been special in thier lives, so Kiwi will always remeber you and just keep that in mind.